I realized it wasn’t what I had to offer others that mattered, eventually. It was God who qualified me to begin ministering to women, and it all happened quite naturally. One woman at a time, God began to use His work in my life to help others understand His purpose and love for them. I have found that one of the hardest parts of working with women is helping them deal with the tendency to earn love and approval. I know that struggle well, and God has had lots of work to do, removing idols from my heart. I have found also, that the more I share my weakness, lack of faith, sin and struggles- the more credible I become. Mainly because in exposing the real me, God clearly gets the glory for who I am today. It’s been the most freeing part of my spiritual journey- letting go of the image I wanted to project and just being myself. Accepted by God, I no longer have to freak out if I suspect someone else doesn’t quite approve. I know I am loved because of who God is, not who I am (or am not) and the older I get the more I am confident in that love. So much so, that lately I do not mind so much the visible signs of age that are appearing. Wrinkles around my eyes, obstinate gray hairs to be colored, gravity taking hold. No doubt about it- I do not look like that 20 year old girl anymore, but I am okay with it.
|39 and loving it! Trust me girls, it just keeps getting better!|