Cosmic Tweaks to One Mama’s World

It’s 4:30 am and I’m awake. First thought: insomnia is stupid. Second thought: I will need so much coffee tomorrow. Third thought: why can’t I function on 5 hours of sleep? Which led to lots of thoughts about what I wish I could alter about reality. Now call me unimaginative or uncreative, but I don’t want to drastically alter reality. Nothing like, we stop aging at 26, or behavior has no consequences or I can shoot lasers from my eyes at will. I mean, that’s not realistic! I’d just like to make some minor cosmic adjustments to a few laws of the universe. A little tweaking, if you will. So here we go:

List of Wishful Adjustments to Reality Inspired by Insomnia

1. it was impossible to EVER get sick after giving birth to children
2. I could flip some switch in my head that allowed me to completely tune out clutter, or children whining
3. diet coke, mac-n-cheese and brownie sundaes were chock full of nutrition
4. talking burned tons of calories and worked my heart out
5. you could load up on a good night’s sleep and that would carry you a week at a time
6. I could pick a few times a week to actually exist in two places at once
7. my husband could read my mind when I wanted him to, but otherwise not so much
8. that on really busy weeks I could ask for more than 24 hours in a day, and get them
9.  my driver’s van window just started working again tomorrow
10. it was possible to DVR my kids lives
11. once you learned to hula hoop, you never lost the groove
12. I could scold, shame or “ground” my uterus into behaving properly
13. I always remembered my sweater when going grocery shopping
14. sometimes I could get an actual hug from God
15. if awakened by insomnia, productive activity ensued

You’ve gotta admit, it’d be nice…….

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