Anniversary Reflections

As we ate our dinner and enjoyed the perfect temperature on the patio at Parthenon, we talked about how good it is to have been married 11 years. We’ve now been married long enough to have been in love, annoyed, blessed, hurt, close, distant and everything in between. We’ve walked on mountain tops together, like our honeymoon and the birth of Emma and our recent trip to India together. We’ve walked through valleys and storms like disagreements about parenting issues and really painful ministry moments. Each of us has changed and grown through the years. Career changes, hobby and interest shifts, we don’t quite look the same as we did (although I swear Scott keeps getting better looking!) In all the highs and lows there is a constant for us that is very much an anchor of security. Our marriage is cemented in a covenant before God. We said “I do”, and while we really are still learning who and what we said “I do” to, the conviction that WE are in this together forever offers such peace. Some days are pure wedded bliss. But most are a mix of good and bad. For we are both broken people who love imperfectly, who struggle against selfishness and apathy and pride. On our best day, we do not love one another the way Christ loves us. But as we keep moving forward together, the Lord keeps teaching us how to love.

I read an article recently that said studies show that couples who divorced, would have been happy in five years if they had just stayed together. They got this statistic by interviewing hundreds of couples who considered divorce, but stayed committed and in five years were so thankful they stayed together because their marriage had not only survived, but grown. For us, divorce is simply not on the table. We do not have a plan B. Having been through a divorce in my other life, this was especially important to me prior to getting married to Scott. So we look at difficult times this way: Since we are going to be together forever, we must find a way to work through _____.

The benefit of 11 years together is perspective. I am able to see highs and lows differently as we walk through them. Another positive is being so deeply known by another person, yet loved as I am. There is no one who sees my ugly side as much as my husband. Being loved and treasured while being seen that transparently is a gift. It is meant to mirror God’s love for me, and it does.

before heading out on our date

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